YOU ARE NOT CHEAP (Part 4)

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(Continued from part 3)

Never force a man into marriage with you
The bible recorded that Leah was not loved while Rachel was loved. This is because Jacob never desired her in the first place but he couldn’t reject her after sleeping with her. If you trap a man into marriage by any means you choose to employ (such as getting pregnant for him), you are not guaranteed a loving atmosphere in your home which is what you actually need to thrive in life. A married woman that does not enjoy love and acceptance at home may be hostile and nag at work, she will be so angry at life and struggle with low self esteem. This is because the design of a woman is relationship-based. An average woman enjoys life more when all her relationships are doing fine, even if her career is shaky and her spiritual life is not sound. Have you observed how unserious a woman with a very loving and responsible husband could be towards God’s service? To her, she has all she wants in life, and she could remain complacent until problem strikes at home, and then she starts seeking God.

Any man you force into marriage, you will continue to service him to love you and to keep the marriage going. He is never interested in the marriage, therefore its survival is solely your responsibility and don’t forget that marriage is real work. You will soon get exhausted as there is continual output with no input. Mostly, such marriage collapses on the long run because once the man meets a woman he really loves, he will elope with her. You can’t afford to push a man into marriage; it is too costly for you. A woman could marry a man that she does not love and later love him as they get on in the marriage once she’s showered with care, love and attention but the vice-versa is risky. Sooner or later, that marriage would break. The latter marriage only lasted in the olden days when the voice of a father to his son on not to divorce his wife was irrevocable. The worst he could consequently do is to marry a second wife whom he truly loves. Hmmm, no wonder my spiritual father (Rev. Olusola Areogun) would always tell single ladies, ‘Don’t marry a man you love, marry a man that loves you’. This saying is full of wisdom! He doesn’t actually mean that you shouldn’t marry a man you love, but that you should marry a man whose love for you is far more than yours for him because that’s what will keep him with you.

Other lessons from the story
The truth of the matter is that Leah did not actually force herself on Jacob, she only submitted to her father’s command and you can see how God justified her by giving her so many children while he shut Rachel’s womb. To crown it all, God enrolled her into the genealogy of our Lord Jesus. Truly, God always covers anyone that is misled by the authority figure He placed in front of him/her. You can see how God defended Sarah[1] as well. So, if you want to enjoy unfair justification with God, submission to authority is the key.

More so, I presumed that Rachel is Jacob’s emotionally-chosen wife while Leah is his God-ordained wife (irrespective of how they got married!). I thought so because God sent Judah (one of the grandfathers of Jesus[2]) through her[3] and if you follow the operations of God on the earth from Abraham (the chosen lineage), you would notice that everything was tending towards the coming of the Messiah, and only the chosen vessels (i.e. those that are God’s unconditional choices) were inculcated into this plan. God has chosen Jacob and Leah to participate in the plan; I don’t know where Rachel fits in?
You might want to say ‘but she bore Joseph[4] who preserved the lineage from famine’[5].....Yes, you are right but don’t forget that this God can never be stranded. If He could give Isaac a hundred-fold harvest during famine[6], he would know how to preserve the lineage in famine if Joseph wasn’t born. In addition, probably Rachel would have hampered God’s plan in one way or the other that’s why God allowed her exit out of Jacob’s life early[7]. Also, she wasn’t buried where Abraham, Sarah, Isaac, Rebecca, Jacob and Leah were all buried[8].

The choice of our emotion can sometimes be contrary to God’s choice, and it takes total submission to God’s will to embrace God’s choice. Your emotion only judges based on today but only God knows the future and the plan He has for you. My spiritual mother (Rev. Mrs. Oyenike Areogun) always counsels, ’You are not permitted to fall in love with the opposite sex if you’ve not known God’s mind on that person, i.e. whether he/she is His will for you or not. First find God’s will for you and then love him/her’. Remember, you only know your today but only God knows who you really need as a suitable companion through life.

Shalom.                    

[1] Genesis 20:1-18
[2] Matthew 1:2
[3] Genesis 29:35
[4] Genesis 30:23-24
[5] Psalm 105:17
[6] Genesis 26:1-3, 12
[7] Genesis 35:16
[8] Genesis 49:29-31

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